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Friday Joke

On Fridays we tell a joke on The Daily English Show. Click on a joke title and share the joke on your favourite social network. Click on the "I don't get it" picture to see the joke explanation.
We share the drawings from Friday Joke on Flickr. You're welcome to use them as long as you credit us.

#45 Robbery Suspects

Police officers lined up a group of robbery suspects. They asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: Give me all your money or I’ll shoot. One of the men couldn’t control himself and shouted: That’s not what I said!
From Friday Joke on Show 837.

#44 Breaking The Rules

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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out of bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
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Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time,” he said.
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"Anybody caught breaking the rules a second time will be fined $60.
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Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
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A student then raised his hand asked: "How much for a season pass?"
From Friday Joke on Show 830.

#43 Cheats And Liars

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.
"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.

The judge banged her gavel sharply and interrupted: "All right, now that both attorneys have been identified, let's get on with this case."
From Friday Joke on Show 823.

#42 Starting Salary

Near the end of a job interview, an interviewer asked a young university graduate: “And what starting salary were you looking for?”

The young man replied: “Around 200,000 dollars are year, depending on the benefits package.”

“What you say to a package of ten weeks paid holiday, plus a company car, say, a red BMW?”

“Wow! Are you kidding?”

“Yes, but you started it”.
From Friday Joke on Show 816.

#41 Muffins In The Oven

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. 
One of them says, “Man, it’s hot in here!”
The other muffin replies, “Look, a talking muffin!”
From Friday Joke on Show 797.