On Fridays we tell a joke on The Daily English Show. Click on a joke title and share the joke on your favourite social network. Click on the "I don't get it" picture to see the joke explanation.
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One day a little boy called Johnny was sitting in a church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he said to his mother, "Mummy, I have to piss."
His mother said, "Johnny, don’t say piss in church! Next time you have to use the bathroom, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite."
The next Sunday, Johnny had to go to the bathroom again. This time he was sitting next to his father, so he said to his father, "Daddy I have to whisper."
A man visits his aunty in a rest home. When he arrives, she’s asleep,
so he sits down in a chair in her room and flips through a few magazines,
Eventually, his aunty wakes up, and the man realizes he has absent-mindedly finished the entire bowl of almonds.
"I'm so sorry, aunty, I've eaten all of your almonds!"
"That's okay, dearie," the aunty replies. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't really like eating the almonds anyway”.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive."
"In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
"However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."